Friendships outside of marriage | Photo by KoolShooters
Healthy friendships outside of marriage are important for many aspects of your well-being. However, they don’t have to endanger your marriage. Perhaps you can consider making mutual friendships with your spouse and sharing group activities. In this article, you’ll learn how to form friendships that can enrich your marriage.
When a man and woman marry TC, they need to change the type of friendships they keep with the opposite sex out of respect for the marriage…
… they are no longer a single person when they marry…
Everything they do is a reflection on the other person in the relationship and affects that person also. If they cannot accept that, they should not get married. They should remain single!
Excerpts (page 36, Hole #2: Help for Tin Cup) from “The Golf Pro Has Heart” by John A. Gehrisch
These excerpts highlight the importance of establishing marriage boundaries with friends. There are things you do with your partner that you can’t do with your friends anymore. As married couples, you are one, bound together for eternity. Whatever you do in your marriage affects your partner.
When you’re in a non-committed relationship, it’s okay to entertain others. After all, you both lived individual lives before you met each other. There are people you’ve loved before having started the relationship. But now that you’re in a committed relationship or married, it’s all different. You both have a shared commitment and responsibility to one another. Thus, it’s important for you to be sensitive toward each other’s feelings and be careful when forming new friendships outside of marriage. As John Gehrisch’s parents did, you both have to give in 65% of the time and become best friends. Can you imagine making your spouse your best friend? Doesn’t everyone hope to marry someone who can also be their best friend? Actually, that’s how you keep each other happy and find safety in each other’s presence.
What if it just doesn’t work?
When things get overwhelmingly tough, and your marriage starts to dwindle, what can you do to cope and put your life back on track? If you ever need guiding steps to rebuild life before or after divorce, this book is your must-read. Available in select bookstores, grab a copy now and let it guide your way to giving yourself another chance at love and romance. Learn how the couples John Gehrisch studied that did it right were able to succeed in marriage and discover how you can form better relationships before or after divorce.
Why Friendships Outside of Marriage Matter
There are a lot of reasons why we naturally and necessarily have to form friendships. One thing is emotional support. Having friends can meet your emotional needs in a way that your spouse may not have been able to. Another reason is personal growth. Making friends with other people while married keeps you engaged in diverse perspectives. This personal enrichment does not only benefit you but also your partner and your marriage. Think about learning a skill from a friend and sharing it with your spouse. Don’t you think it’s a win-win situation?
Well, if friendships are important, then here’s a thought to ponder:
What Am I Doing Wrong?
Sometimes, friendships, especially with the opposite sex, threaten most marriages. Maybe it’s because the way we’re making friends is outside the line. This is when we need to consider how our friends’ actions could affect our spouses. It could be the way we eat a piece of cake off a fork eye-to-eye with a friend or how we cling to their shoulders and giggle. Let’s consider how our partners would react when they see us acting differently with our friends. What would you say?
How Can I Build Friendships That Enrich My Marriage?
Forming friendships outside of marriage provides balance and harmony to each of you. A healthy marriage is where you both prioritize each other’s needs more often than your own, but not so much that you lose your individuality or feel resentful in the end. Here’s what you can do to make friends with others in a way that still enriches your marriage:
Make Mutual Friendships
When you meet someone at the bar alone, introduce them to your spouse. Tell them everything you did in order to avoid conflicts. Forming friendships outside of marriage shouldn’t be harmful when both of you are friends with that person. Consider setting up double dates, game nights, or group vacations to create opportunities for camaraderie and shared joy while showing respect to your significant other.
Establish Respect and Boundaries
Set clear boundaries. Define what is and what is not appropriate in your interactions with your friends. This way, you can protect the emotional and physical intimacy you shared with your spouse. Establishing respect in newfound friendships outside of marriage will also need transparency about the nature of your friendship.
See You in the Next Chapters!
“THE GOLF PRO HAS Heart: Secrets of Couples Still in Love After 50 Years & A Private Look Behind the Curtain of The Professional Golf Tour” by John A. Gehrisch teaches us a lot of lessons that will help us strengthen marriages. In addition, John has also played in tour golf. As such, this book also includes a behind-the-curtain of professional golf, including stories with tour champions like Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Bill Casper, Butch Baird, Gary Player, Bill Johnston, Shelly Hamlin, Anne-Marie Palli, and others.
John interviewed couples like his parents who were married for 50 years or more, in a fulfilling relationship, happy, and still madly in love and best friends. Having discovered 18 common traits in all those marriages, he explains and discloses them in his book. If you wish to know more about the book or get up close and personal with the author, feel free to connect with him.
